من انا و ماذا اريد؟

من انا و ماذا اريد؟
انا مسلمة مصرية أمريكية..من الله علي بإسلامى ما زلت اتشبث و ابحث فى بحور مصريتى العميقة و تعلمت من كونى امريكية..و هنا يبدء الكلام..إلى اى تيار انتمى و اى حزب ساختار و الى اى تيار احب ان تسير بلادى و ما حكمك على هذا الشيخ او تلك الطائفه؟ كلها اسئله يسألني اياها الكثير….و هنا احب ان اشرح وجهة نظرى كامله و سأكتب عن كل ما يجول فى خاطرى..

اولا: المذهب الشيعى بدأت منذ عدة سنوات فى التعرف على المذهب الشيعى و الذى نجهله فى مصر تماما و بدأت بقرات وهابيه و سلفيه فكرهت هذا المذهب و بدات فى حملات تثقيفيه الى كل من اعرف و اشرح لهم كفر الشيعه و انقل لهم كل المعلومات التى كانت صادمه لى عن الشيعه ..ثم بدأت بعدها ان اسمع لبعض الشيعه و اقرء من مصادرهم و فوجئت بانى لو كنت ولدت فى بلد شيعى لكنت شيعية متعصبه لأنى احب علي و الحسن و الحسين و انا معهم قلبا و قالبا. وهنا توصلت لنتيجه و هى ان اخذ منهم ما يناسبى و ما أشعر انه الأقرب الى الصواب و ان اترك ما اراه كفرا و تشدد و تعصب و قد أكون هنا قد اقتضيت الإمام ابى حنيفه و الذى تتلمذ على يد أحد كبار ائمة الشيعة

التصوف: انا احترم التصوف و اقدر التيار المعتدل فيه ليس فقط لأنى قرات بعض هذه الكتب المعتدله و لكن لأنى قابلت منهم ايضا من أراها نماذج مسلمه مشرفه و محافظه و لا تتعدى حدود الله فى الفكر او فى الفعل..

التيار السلفى او الاسلامي: احب ان اسمع و ان اتعلم من بعضهم و ارى فى بعضهم الصلاح و العلم و حب الله.. نحسبهم على ذلك و لا نزكى على الله أحد.

الليبرالين و علمانين: انا لم أقرأ عنهم او اسمع منهم فقط بل عشت بينهم احدى عشر عاما و برغم اختلافى مع بعض مبادئهم الا انى يجب ان اقول الحق و أشهد به.. فقد عشت بينهم كاقليه مغتربه تريد و تطالب بحقها فى ان ترتدى الجحاب الذى تؤمن بانه فريضه و تريد أن تذهب للتعبد فى دار عبادتها فى هدوء و امن و سلام… عشت هنا كاقليه يعتبرها الأغلبية و العامه على ضلال و يعتبرها البعض على كفر و يشفق عليها القليل لان نهايتها الجحيم كما يتعلمون فى دينهم. (تماما كما يرى بعض الناس المسيحين فى بلادنا كاقلية).وهنا يجب ان اذكر انه لولا وجودى فى هذ النظام لما كنت قد تعلمت ما تعلمت فى دينى و عن الأديان الأخرى التى لم اكن اعرف ان لها وجود على سطح الأرض

الخلاصة..عندما تحكم على من تختلف معه تذكر دائما انه يرى بغير عينيك و يشعر بغير قلبك و يفكر بغير عقلك..و تذكر انه تعلم من مصادر مختلفه عن مصادرك و قرأ كتب غير ما قرءت.. و ان ما يؤمن به هو الأقرب الى الصواب فى نظره. فمهما اختلفت مع انسان لا تفقده الاحترام فى نظرك و لا تسقط به فى هوة الكفر و تذكر قوله تعالى عن اهل النار……(وقالوا ما لنا لا نرى رجالا كنا نعدهم من الأشرار ( 62 ) أتخذناهم سخريا أم زاغت عنهم الأبصار ( 63 ) إن ذلك لحق تخاصم أهل النار ( 64 ) سورة ص…. لنعيش فى الحياه كبشر و لا نجعل انفسنا الهه تحاسب…و تذكر عندما تختلف ان من تختلف معه عاقل راشد اختار لنفسه طريق فى الحياه و هذا الطريق سيصل به الى نتيجة هو من سيتحملها كاملة و ليس انت. اما عن ما أتمناه لبلادى فهو أن يمن الله عليها بمن يساعد أهلها على أن يخرجوا من هوة الجهل و الأميه الى نور العلم و المعرفة.. وما يؤلمنى انى لم اجد اى من الأحزاب او الأشخاص الى الآن قد وضع خطه مقنعه لتغير التعليم المصرى و انا لم أقل تحسين او تطوير بل تغير فما تحتاجه مصر فى نظرى هو قيام منظومه تعليميه جديدة تختلف كليا عن ما هى عليه الآن و يجب أن يضم هذا النظام من يدخل المدارس و من لا يدخلها..والى من يهمه الأمر أرى فى مخيلتى صوره لهذا التغير بخطوط محدده لم اسجلها على ورق بعد و لكن لعله يكون هدفى للعام الجديد ان شاء الله و اراد…و اخيرا لكم منى كل الاحترام و التقدير و ادعو الله ان يثبتنا و اياكم على الطريق المستقيم الذى يرضاه لنا و أن يجعل خير ايامنا اخرها و أفضل اعمالنا خواتيمها..و السلام عيكم و رحمة الله
رانيا زيت حار

My Hijab

I’ll write about the most common question I’ve ever heard here in the USA . Sometimes I hear people’s words directly from their questions or even silently from their eyes when they see me with hijab, meaning I cover my hair and body.

“Why?” “Why are you covering your beauty? ”How can you handle your scarves in the summer and all these clothes over your body? Don’t you feel hot?” Or I notice some people looking at me as a poor Muslim lady : “Somebody forced her to wear that thing.” I actually heard that from a kind old lady a couple of years ago. Some other people will look at me in the open park or on the beach on a hot summer day, with all my clothes and scarf on as a totally crazy women. I can see this meaning clearly on their eyes.
The truth is, I’m not the person they see in their eyes. For any woman, her beauty is an important thing. Any lady likes to see herself beautiful and feels happy when the others notice it!
But, the point most people don’t know that my Hijab was all my decision. I began to wear Hijab when I was 23 years old. My dad, my husband or my brothers never asked me once to wear it. I started to wear it in the USA not in Egypt. Before I decided to wear my Hijab , I was married and I used to wear shorts, short skirts, short-sleeve shirts and dresses, all kinds of clothes you see in the stores. Just like any young lady in my age.
The question now you ask is why? Why did I leave all these fun things and decided to change my life with my Hijab? Is it because I’m a Muslim lady, and all Muslim ladies have to do it? No, because not all of Muslim ladies wear Hijab. I know some from my friends and family who are Muslims and don’t wear Hijab. They are very good people. I think some of them are even better Muslims than me! Then, what is the point? Let me give you an example to explain my idea.

In any relationship in our life, we usually go through different levels of feelings. First, you know someone then, you feel him in your life. Then, you like him. After that, you believe him. Finally, you love and trust him. I went through all these feelings with people in my life. I’m sure you did with someone in your life also. However, my husband is a normal person. He doesn’t have any super powers. He is a human just like me and you, but I still trust him because I know what his strengths and weaknesses are. He is amazing with road directions. If I go with him anywhere, I’ll never think about the way, because I trust him in navigating more than I trust myself. I myself usually get lost on my way to any new place, and sometime to old places too! I trust that he will take me safely to the right place.
Now let’s use the same philosophy about God, who created me. I was nothing. He made me. He knows me more than I know myself. I felt my God. I knew my God. I believed him, I loved him, I trusted him, and I felt all his strengths. Through these steps, I learned more about my religion. I understood the reasons for how and why I worship God, by reading the Quran, the prophet’s words and some good books.

I didn’t stop with that, I even used the opportunity of being in the U.S. and started to read about all of the other religions I’ve heard about. That was so useful for me as a Muslim lady who was born in a Muslim family inside an Islamic country. In Egypt 90% of the populations are Muslims and 10% are Orthodox Christians. I didn’t have the chance in Egypt to know or learn about any other religions, but I got this great chance in the U.S.. That’s why I feel so sad when I see a young girl, just a child, wearing Hijab even though God didn’t ask her to do this before being an adult. Also she missed going through all these wonderful steps towards her God and missed being able to take her decision all by herself when she feels like want to do it and is ready to do it.
Wearing Hijab in my religion is not about wearing a piece of cloth on my head or covering my body from the public eyes. It is much more, it’s a way of life. I have to be responsible about all my actions and words when I talk or deal with people anywhere. With my Hijab I’m not being just myself but I’m also being my religion, and sometimes I am all the people who follow this religion in the world. Especially in a country like the U.S.. Most of the American people have no idea about Islam, except from the unfair Media. So when they see a lady who lies to get something that doesn’t belong to her, when she is wearing Hijab, I’ll never blame them when they say in their mind or their words “That women did so, because she is a Muslim”. It’s not their fault or the media’s fault. It’s all her fault. She thought that covering her outside will save her from any other sin from the inside and that is not right, she got it backwards and she also forgot that her look will not make them think she is a bad person but they will think she is from a bad religion especially with the media effects.
Wearing my Hijab in the U.S. is a kind of challenge for me, just because mostly I deal with people who look at me as a different kind of person not really me as I mentioned before, or people who hate me right away because they knew from the first second I’m a Muslim or people will look at my poor kind nice husband as an evil eastern Muslim man! But on the inside I live in peace. If I’m sure that God loves me, then I know he will never ask me for something that will make me suffer. Even if I cover some of my beauty by wearing my Hijab, I got the spiritual strength in my soul, and I do feel much happier in my life. With my Hijab I know, I won’t be judged by how short is my skirt, how good I have my hair done, or how perfect is my body shape, but my personality, my soul and my behavior will appear the most.

When I was 10 years old, I asked my mom, “Why you began to wear Hijab when you were 35 years old?” she replied ” I’ll never take it off even for a million pounds (the Egyptian currency)!’ I didn’t understand the meaning of her answer then. I heard that a long time ago, and back then, I would never think that I would share my mom’s words one day from my heart, but I do now. I worship my God every time I wear my hijab and go out in public. I’m telling him, “I love you, God, more than anything else in my life.” I swear if someone will offer me a billion dollars or more to take off my Hijab, I’ll never think about it. This feeling is really worth for me more than money.

Here are some answers for the most common questions I was asked during my life with Hijab in the USA.
1- I stay home without my Hijab.
2- I don’t sleep with my Hijab.
3- I don’t take shower with my Hijab on.
4- I get a hair cut, hair styles, hair dying and highlights.
5- I take my Hijab off and wear nice clothes around my family and my girl friends that don’t have to cover all my body.
6- Sometimes my Hijab makes me feel hot in the summer, but it is always a blessing in the winter.
I hope you can understand now why I decided to wear my Hijab and how I wear it.
With all my respect!!!
Rania Zeithar

USA and me: part 3 “The Clear Picture”

One of the movies that had the most effect on my feelings was, “How To Train Your Dragon. Part#1” The idea was that some people saw dragons as a very dangerous, evil, scary creatures. These people’s mission in life was to kill the dragons to save the earth. The mission changed when a little boy couldn’t see himself as a killer and wanted to treat the dragons with a different way. He wanted to discover their lives. Then the miracle happened! He found out that they were trying to kill people just to defend themselves not to destroy them. He started to communicate with the dragons, they helped him and he saved them. I think this movie may explain a lot!

This movie may show the two halves of the world. The only difference is that they are both humans, but they are seeing each other as dangerous dragons. If both give themselves the opportunity to show the real human part in each other, surely the world would be much better place. Muslims and Arabs are not all terrorists and Americans are not all evil.

I was sitting with my parents watching a soccer game between Egypt and another team a long time ago. We all cheered for Egypt. The next game was between KSA (Kingdom of Saudi Arabia) and another team. I found out that my parents were cheering for the Saudi Arabian Team. I stopped, looked at them and asked my mom, “Mom why are you both cheering for KSA team and it’s not our country?” She said, “Rania, we ate from their land, we had so many fun days with their people, we worked hard for their schools and companies for years. I think that is more than enough to cheer for them.” Do you remember these kind of words in your childhood? The words that might build something in your mind, soul and personality. These words were just like that for me!

I have all these meanings now for the U.S. USA for me is not politics or governments. It is the great awesome people I met, the kind hearts I found, and the warm and nice friends I made. The great opportunity for me to learn and know. It is the land I had my boys in. The land I knew and studied in my religion; like I never did before. The freedom to practice my religion, visit the masque and wear my Hijab. The great variety of people, all colors, races, cultures, and beliefs, that I met them and learnt from all of them.

If you ask me, would I have ever thought I might have all those feeling for the USA? My answer would be NO, NEVER, I never thought I would have an American friend and would love her like my own blood sister, I feel the pain if she had it, and would cry hard if she did. I also feel all the happiness in my heart if she was happy!! This is the humanity which we all have, and which I discovered when I came here.

In March 2008 I went to the court to say the pledge of allegiance, the anthem and receive my citizenship certificate to be an American citizen. With 46 more people from 15 different countries around the world, we all repeated the pledge. Then, the judge said “Now all of you are Americans, just like me and any other American out there. Never feel that you are a less citizen than anyone who was born in this country. You have the same exact rights and have the same exact duties. The only thing that you will not be able to do as any other American after you go out of this room, is trying to be the president of the United States”. His golden words are always in my heart, and it help me anytime I face any challenge during my life in the USA.

I surly faced challenges in the U.S as a Muslim lady, from some ignorant people, but the good people here are more and they deserve to be mentioned more than anything else. Without everything happened to me here, and without everyone I met here and without everything I learned here, I would never be myself now. Because of that my mission in my Arabic writings is to show the Arab people who never got the chance to visit the U.S. the real beauty and tolerance in the Americans, who I have met here. And my mission in my English writings is to show the Americans, who don’t know about Islam except from the media, the real and true beauty of my religion and my culture. I do that and will keep doing that until the end of life, to help making a better understanding world from my children’s life.
Love and Respect,
Rania